RITUAL - For Self-love…and a Baked Camembert with Thyme & Fig Compote

Self-love. It seems like such a small word sometimes, casually flipped out onto the counter like conversational pocket change. In general, it can seem obvious and simple, and yet like all the truest things, isn’t at the same time.

Self-love. The depth of these words, their complexity, their consequence, sometimes leaves me feeling as if I am asked to hold a mountain in my small hands. Or like a seed in the wind, wondering if I’ll ever plant.

I mean, I love myself. For all intents and purposes, it would seem that I do at least: I love being alone in my own company (I find myself very funny), I’ve developed a sense of compassion for myself, I’ve made decisions to honour my true desires in life and sheesh, I even wrote about it in my book. But lately I began to wonder what it actually looked like in the every day. Then I began to wonder, how do I love?

So I made myself dinner – a baked Camembert with thyme and fig compote. I made a nice tomato salad with chervil for freshness and toasted some crusty bread to get that crunch I love alongside the warm, creamy cheese. After I had laid a hand-embroidered table runner over my teeny balconette as a makeshift table overlooking the city, I set the table as I had done for so many friends I cherish – with linen napkins and silverware. I ate, sipping wine, watching the street below, wholly enjoying the beauty of what I was surrounded with.

I definitely don’t know everything about love, if much at all. But I do believe that love is more than just professing it. I think it’s in actions big and small, in kind words, considerate thoughts, and compassionate conversations. It’s in celebrating wins and creating safe spaces to feel losses. It’s inside jokes, a book by a favourite author, a stem of a favourite flower, an evening in and for me, making a meal. I began to see, how I do and could love me.

I thought, perhaps self-love is not something we either have or don’t. Perhaps it’s because the seed of self-love was already planted in us the day we were born, and for the rest of our lives, we are simply nurturing it…perhaps even with a roasted camembert topped with thyme and fig compote.

Roasted Camembert with Thyme and Fig Compote

Preheat oven to 350F.

Take camembert, or brie, or a cheese that will melt well. Place it in an oven-proof baking dish. Top with dollops of fig compote, or something else sweet like dates, tomato jam, plum jam, quince etc.

Sprinkle with an herb, I used thyme because I had it, but you can use parsley, rosemary or even a spice if that’s your favourite. Crack some pepper on top and bake until the whole thing is bubbling, 20-30 mins. Then top with Maldon sea salt and serve with a salad and toasted bread.